Establishing Wedding Party Roles
Bridesmaid Luncheon
Do Bubbles Stain Clothes?
Guest List and Seating Assignment
Guest Accomodations
Honoring Special Family Members
Flower Budget
Why Martha Stewart Suggests Hiring a Wedding Planner
Email Your Own Question to Occasions
Establishing Wedding Party Roles
Q: I bought three books that tell me "how to be a bride," and they also cover others' roles: the bridesmaids, the mother of the bride, the groom and more. Is it appropriate to inform these individuals what their traditional roles are so they are not confused? How can I offer this information to my wedding party without sounding ungrateful for their assistance?
A: A fun and unthreatening way to let people know their duties (or what you expect of them) is to send out a newsletter detailing responsibilities and other wedding planning information. That way, no one will feel as though you're targeting them. You're probably right that most people will find it helpful to have responsibilities spelled out - they might not know what they're supposed to do, and they may feel weird about asking. A newsletter is a cool way to tell them - you'll have fun putting it together, too! Be sure to include a huge "Thank You" to everyone early in your newsletter - people generally respond better to instructions if they feel appreciated.
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Bridesmaid Luncheon
Q: I need to know about the bridesmaid luncheon. The bridesmaids are obviously invited, but is there an unspoken rule about family and friends whom you cannot invite, or is it up to the bride hosting the luncheon?
A: A bridesmaid luncheon is different than a shower - it's really just a bonding session for the bride and her maids. Generally, the bride treats her maids to a dinner, luncheon, high tea - even a happy hour at a favorite bar or an afternoon of manicures or massages. This party is not mandatory and can be as casual or formal as you want it to be.
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Do Bubbles Stain Clothes?
Q: I really wanted my guests to blow bubbles as we left the church (I don't want to use rice and butterflies seem impractical). But one of my friends told me that bubbles can stain your clothes! Is this true?
A: I guess it depends on the batch of bubbles. It's just soap and water after all, though I can see how a high concentration of soap might lead to this effect. Try this: Pick a few different bottles, grab your honey (this shouldn't be *too* hard), and have yoruselves a bubble blowing party. Wearing your favorite rags, blow the bubbles directly onto the material. If they stain, move onto the next bottle. Happy blowing!
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Guest List and Seating Assignments
Q: My mom has totally taken over the guest list. She has decided to invite not only friends we haven't seen in years but also family of these friends. She is making this a huge social occasion, but we only have so much space in the chapel. Since she's paying for the wedding, how do we tell her not to go overboard? I'm afraid the people that mean the most to me will be stuck standing in the back.
A: It's always tough when parents are paying for the wedding. Of course they should have a say in how their money is spent, but what happens if they get out of control? At least you have a bargaining chip: there's nothing anyone can do about how many people will fit comfortably in the chapel. If you feel that she's inviting guests you don't even know at the exclusion of people important to you, by all means let her know. I'm sure she doesn't mean to make you feel that way, and you just need to point it out. As far as making sure the most important people have a good view of the proceedings, there are a few things you can do. Mark the first five to ten pews as seats of honor with streamers or flowers. Then either make sure your ushers know exactly who the honored people are and where they should be seated, or include pew cards in those guests' invitations. Guests then present these cards to the ushers at your ceremony letting them know where they should be seated. This way, you'll ensure that the most important people are up front, regardless of how many people Mom invites!
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Guest Accomodations
Q: Our wedding will require many guests to fly in from various areas. We would like to book rooms at the resort where the wedding and reception will take place. Is it appropriate to ask that people just come and enjoy a nice weekend and not worry about gifts? Their presence at our celebration is the important thing! Also, should we pay for their accomodations? The resort has rooms for very reasonable prices to more luxurious suites. Is it also appropriate to give the guests the website address so they can choose the rooms they would like to book?
A: It sounds like you are very tuned in to the needs of your guests, and that's great! You are not obligated to pay for your guests' rooms: they generally understand that they are expected to pay their own way. However, it is very, very gracious of you to reserve a block of rooms at a discounted group rate, if possible, and it's definitely appropriate to let guests know how to find the resort's website so they can select their own rooms.
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Honoring Special Family Members
Q: I really want to honor my grandparents at my wedding. They're both in their 90's and they'll both be at the ceremony and reception! Any ideas?
A: How amazing that your grandparents will both be there! And it's a great idea to honor them on the big day. Some ideas: Give your grandfather a special boutonniere and your grandmother a great corsage; have them specially escorted to sit beside your parents in the front or second row; have your officiant note their presence and mention how glad you are to have them there (or do it yourself, in the ceremony program); include a reading that was read at their wedding in your ceremony; dance to their first-dance song at the reception; display their wedding portrait at the reception... we could go on and on! The important thing is to find the gesture you're most comfortable making, so your tribute will be heartfelt. I'm sure that whatever you decide to do, they'll be touched!
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Flower Budget
Q: Approximately how much of my budget should I anticipate spending on my wedding flowers?
A: The sky's the limit when it comes to flowers for your wedding, but realistically you can plan spending about 8% of your overall budget. This covers the bride's bouquet, bridesmaids' bouquets, boutonnieres, corsages, and ceremony and reception arrangements. How much you actually spend depends on many different factors, such as whether or not the flowers are in season in your area, the size and complexity of the arrangements, nad how far the flowers must travel to the ceremony and reception. Be sure to have your whole budget worked out in advance of meeting with your florist for the first time so he or she can show you all the options in your price range.
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804-519-0390 | jennifer@occasionsevents.com
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